thoughts in th middle of th night

sup. been awhile since i've last blogged. It's gonna be th end of 2012 soon.well,  approximately in a month's time. 2012, wasnt that bad but there were some shitty moments like now cramps :( i really hope 2013(in sha allah) is gonna be a great year for me. new class,new friends,new subjects... oh god. im not really looking forward for 2013, tbh.
i wanted to turn in after i watched ANTM all stars w/ my sister. when i lay down on my bed, i kept staring to blank space but then i realize i was actually thinking of you.. i replayed those moments when im with you. i can actually admit that i think of you every single night before i sleep and im not gonna lie. idk why but luqman's scent is so similar to yours and that makes me miss you more when im around him. does that even makes sense? haha.
i never really stopped loving you eventho i said i did. i don't know if it's fate or not that we're back together again but im sure enough i ain't gonna make a mistake i did once. i don't wanna lose you once again... but then again, i know one day you're gonna get sick and tired of me... you'll get bored,sick and tired of talking to me,layan-ing my nonsense,going out on dates w/ me,kissing me or maybe even get sick and tired just by looking at my face.however it that happens, im still gonna put in effort in this relationship, i wanna make it work out but yknow what they say 'it takes two hands to clap' yeah.
never did i have th thought of  leaving you. never did my feelings for you fade when we didn't met for a week or so. never did i... ok shut up,rini. haha. i don't like to show you my weak side..it's embarrassing. ok maybe not really or maybe because i have this egoistic side of me...sigh. i'll get jealous but i won't say it because im not a straight-forward kind of person and i want you to actually to figure it by yrself by giving you some hints. i wanna be th girl you're not afraid to show to people that i'm yr girlf. it's gonna be our fourth month soon tgt in nine days time. oh boy, time flies so quickly... then we're gonna be in our fifth month then to our 1/2 year tgt. :') in shaa Allah. 'I really believed you were the best thing that ever happened to me'
it's already 2:25am. i better turn in. meeting up w/ th awesomezxcv later. i miss how close we were.
goodnight x